Describe in detail an interpersonal conflict situation, real or hypothetical.
This is a real-life interpersonal conflict that happened during a group project two semesters ago. The project was about designing a new medical product to improve on an existing one to solve a pressing medical problem. The project was split into five components and each of us in the group was to specialise in one aspect of the design and do up a final report for it. However, the bulk of the project still focuses on the final design of the product and this would, of course, require the effort of all members to work together to come up with the best design.
Unfortunately, one of the members always produce slipshod work when he was tasked with researching on the overall design of the product and he was always absent for group meetings. He was only concerned about his own aspect of the design and his final individual report.
As the group leader, I sent out various emails and SMS to inform him about our group meetings and the issues to be discussed during the meetings. However, his responses were either delayed or he was very busy with his CCA issues. He was apologetic about it and would always assure me that he would definitely complete his individual component on time after we have come up with the final design. From my point of view, he was trying to escape from the group discussions and I felt that this was extremely irresponsible and selfish of him.
Upon giving the problem much thought, I feel that I should have spoken to him face-to-face regarding the importance of group work in this project and that his absence from multiple group meetings is unfair for the rest of the group. I feel that face-to-face discussion of such sensitive matters would be more effective because he would be able to sense the seriousness of this issue. I can also clarify any doubts with him and listen to his explanations. Most importantly, communicating face-to-face can reduce the chances of possible causes of misunderstanding and misinterpretation of our intended messages. However, it requires good EQ to handle the situation face-to-face effectively to prevent any head-on conflicts due to poor social skills and management of emotions.
Do you think a face-to-face confrontation of this issue with him is truly appropriate or would I make the situation worse?
Hi Hsiao Wei,
ReplyDeleteI feel that a face to face meetup would have allowed yourself and the group member in question an avenue to voice out any difficulties that you both were facing at that point in time.
In my humble opinion, face to face meetups are not confrontational in nature. Rather, they are an opportunity for individuals to meet up and work out their differences together and hopefully, reach an amicable solution that is positive in nature for both parties.
In the situation you have described above, a face to face meetup might have allowed that group member to voice out his difficulties in time management. Perhaps he was truly bogged down by his CCA activities?
I do agree that his actions were indeed irresponsible and I do not ever condone them. I can also relate with you the frustrations that such individuals bring to a group work environment as I have experienced this before. However, the art of having good EQ is to approach such situations with an open mind and perhaps an open heart to understand the unique difficulties of each individual. Yes, it requires a lot of effort on your part to behave as such and many would struggle to see the importance of it. Despite this, we know from what we have learnt in ES2007S that settling such issues in a postive manner is they key to personal effectiveness.
Despite this, nothing worthy in life was ever achieved without hardwork. The path towards effective communication and interpersonal effectiveness is a long and arduous one at that but I can assure you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. See you at class on Tuesday!
Hello Hsiao Wei,
ReplyDeleteIndeed a face-to-face confrontation in your case would probably be the best way to deal with the situation as it allows both you and him to thrash out your issues with each other spontaneously. Moreover, you have the opportunity to watch his body language and therefore can pick up any signs of deception on his part. Besides, I feel that regardless of how busy one is with his CCA activities, that does not provide one with excuses to neglect obligations to other people. It is up to him to balance his time and prioritize his work, and not selfishly abandon all responsibility to the project group.
On the other hand, I'm sure you know about my experience with a group member very much like yours in this precise same module? In my case, my group arranged a meeting cum confrontation with him, and I ended up raising my voice publicly at him. This is something that should never be done and I'm not proud of my loss of control, but his utter nonchalance and devil-may-care attitude was too much for me.
Just remember, if you want to confront him, make sure to keep your cool. I wouldn't want you to end up in the same situation as me. Also, while my shouting at him actually succeeded in getting him to attend meetings, there remained no contributions from him.
Tread wisely. :)
Cheers,
Ming Yi
Hello!
ReplyDeleteFace to face is definitely a great choice to handle such situation! Do find out that his work is indeed slipshod and not because of lack of ability. Recently, I was scolded for giving a slipshod work. However, I did it to the best of my abilities. Therefore, I don really appreciate the yelling i got for it.
Regardless of how angry you were with him, I hope you put the skills you learned in class to practice. Well done for at least trying to solve the issue. No worries about how it will turn out, as long as you try your best. It will be fine =)
Hi Darryl,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I believe that whether a face-to-face meet-up is confrontational would depend on how both parties are able control their emotions, use neutral tone, and inoffensive words and non-verbal cues during the conversation. I feel that one must constantly remain oneself about the intent of the meet-up in order to stay calm and focus and prevent the situation from escalating into an argument.
I agree with you that staying positive and keeping an open mind and heart are very crucial in trying to identify with and understand the viewpoints of the other party. This is all about having good EQ by exercising self-regulation and empathy.
Hi Ming Yi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I cannot agree with you more about keeping your cool during the face-to-face meet-up, however, I do not share the same view of taking the meet-up as a confrontation. I believe that it is important to reason out with yourself what you want to achieve out of this meet-up before going for it. Since all I wanted was for his cooperation in the project, I should prepare myself by having a positive mindset and not sound threatening or punishment when I speak as that would only cause him to distance himself from the group even more.
Drawing from your experience, it is clear that a confrontational approach did not work because he still failed to connect with the group and work together for the good of the project. All we can tell from this is that being confrontational can only solve the problem on the surface, but not the crux of it.
Hi Petrina,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement! Indeed, it slipped my mind to consider if what he did was truly slipshod or a lack of ability in that particular field of research. I believe that I was too affected by his absence from multiple group meetings that I formed a very bad impression of him. Whatever he did there after just seemed sloppy and negligent to me.
I should have exercised more empathy and not judge him so quickly without even bringing this matter up to him first. I will take note of this and make sure I communicate more effectively and openly with my others in future to eliminate any possible cause of misunderstandings!